I remember when I first got this computer. It was close to seven years ago. It's still good as new. Had to upgrade the Operating System, get reprogrammed once. I even replaced the mother board myself, aswell as other inner workings of it. It's...taken over my life. I remember a time when I had friends. When I went outside to play and hang out.

I remember that feeling of knowing you were part of a group of people, of individuals. All different from one another, each their own character. Like the group of kids on any PG TV show, whether it be live action or animated. I remember that feeling of being part of this group of people who were all so memorable and endearing. Some you loved, some you hated, some you loved to hate. That sort of thing.

I remember being human...it all changed once I was introduced to video games. I started going out less. Lost alot of friends, the ones I had became distant...they saw a change in me; a bad one. Once I got access to the internet it was all over really. Each day passed me by so fast. Doing the same pointless stupid fucking thing, just dicking around on the internet all the time. It made weeks feel like one long day, I was always doing the same thing!

My teenaged years past me by. Those were the best years for that sort of thing. For being part of a group of people, of characters, real life characters, your friends, your childhood, those are the years for it to be the best. Almost adults, but still kids at heart. Not very many responsibilities. It all passed me by and now I realize those days are gone and I won't get them back. I wasted them.

Video games and the internet those control my life, those are my life. When I dream I never dream about doing things out in the real world, I just dream about playing a video game because that's the only life I know anymore. I'm honestly frightened. They've taken control of me for years. I'm fat...poor...my face looks like a fucking pepperoni pizza. I'm always tired and depressed. I lack any real willpower or self-confidence. I have no sense of responsibilities. I'm lazy...and rude...I used to be so nice to people.

I can't balance things like some people can. They all suck me in. They make me their slave. I have to destroy them. I can't just leave them. The temptation has to be gone, all of them. No more internet. Hard drive is the first to go. Then my game systems 7th, 6th, 5th, and 4th generations of consoles. Delete all my accounts on everything. My Steam ID. The Cable Box and the HDTV all have to be smashed in a fit of rage and anguish. I can't just sell them or give them away, I'll back down. I know I will.

I...I just want to have friends that care about me, that I care about. That I can joke around with but can come to in my time of need. Even if it's just one. I need someone to love me and care for, that I can care for. I want a relationship with someone, I...want to lose my virginity. I could have had that long ago, built them up into something more serious as I aged...but these devices took those opportunities from me. I won't let them do that anymore. I will destroy them and in that fury be rejuvenated. The precious soul juice that was sucked from me will be released from their plastic and metal prisons and given back to me.

I...I...I have to start playing Skyrim again soon...or something horrible will happen...I feel it in my bones.

You know this has actually been really fucking therapeutic for me. Thank you.

And I actually kinda' lied there, I'm not actually out of my teenaged years yet, but they do feel asthough they're passing by at an alarming rate.

And I'm not actually going to smash all my stuff, that would just be silly...I fucking NEED THEM.

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck, I fuck alot...
Well no actually I haven't fucked once, but I say fuck alot, don't I?...err type it. Whatever...

SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...